A time to remember...

Christmas is a time when we remember the faithfulness of God to fulfill His promises. He is faithful!

     For our family, Christmas is also a time to remember Dad. It has been over five years since He died, and we are now at a place where we can look behind us and say "hasn't God been good!" I can remember those days well when the shock was setting in, and the grieving was so very fresh. I can remember everyone's prayers, the tears, the hugs. I can remember how we continually reminded each other that the Lord would be faithful! He would bring about His purpose in our lives! We had to wait on Him and trust Him! How kind of God to let  us all look back now and have our faith strengthened as we realize how abundantly kind He has been to the Wold family.

My Mom wrote down many of her thoughts and prayers during that difficult season, and these "journals" have ended up being an encouragement to widows and those suffering loss around the country. I would like to share some of our story, and some of  Mom's journaling with you so that your faith may be strengthened, and so that our Heavenly Father would be glorified.

At the time this story begins, by Mom was pregnant with the last of us 10 children. Dad,(Joel), was 42, and in perfect health. My two sisters were in Moscow, Russia working at an orphanage at the time, and I was with a ministry in Texas. My Mom starts her journaling with Psalm 40:5

"Many, O Lord my God, are the wonders which Thou hast done

And Thy thoughts toward us; There is none to compare with Thee; If I would declare and speak of them, They would be too numerous to count."

Dear Family and Friends,

These past weeks, since Joel's death, I have felt a tremendous need to get as much of God's goodness to our family down on paper. My intent has never been to have (my journaling) be so personal that I wasn't comfortable sharing it with others. I feel more as if it is my gift to you. The Scriptures scattered throughout have been extremely signifcant to me, especially at those deep hours when I've walked through the "Valley of the Shadow of Death." My hope and prayer continues to be, only, that God would be glorified as we remember His glorious works and proclaim them.

"But now, thus says the Lord, your Creator, O Jacob, and He who formed you, O Israel, Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine! When you pass through the waters I will be with you; And through the rivers, they will not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched. Nor will the flames burn you. For I am the Lord your God. The Holy One of Israel, your Saviour." Isaiah 43:1-3

Friday, (September 8, 2000) late afternoon, Joel had gone for a walk and I was getting dinner ready. The children were excited about an accident they could see from the top of the street and kept running down to give me reports. My first thought was, "Lord, how good of you, to have Joel right in the right place at the right time. I know you must have him there helping someone." (He'd been a physician's assistant at a local E.R. for the past 15 years.) It was simply too much for the children when they saw the medivac helicopter flying in and insisted I must come and look. At that time fears began to creep in and as I was walking up, baby on my hip, to have a look my 9 year old son, Aaron, said, "I know what you're thinking Mom, I'm thinking the same thing."

Not wanting to concern the children who were all milling about, I mentioned to my neighbor that Joel had taken a walk and really should have been back by now. With Aaron's permission, he grabbed my son's bike and rode down to investigate. He went so fast on that little bike, but I'm afraid he came back even faster and as soon as I was in earshot he yelled, "get in the van!!" I don't remember how, but I know we got down there quickly. When he found that I was Joel's wife the policeman let me right into the accident scene and the first person who spoke to me was the man who had hit him. He was so distraught and I don't remember much of what he said, only that I wanted to comfort him. What a horrible burden. I remember rubbing his arm and telling him it would be all right. Even then, even in the midst of the chaos, knowing that no matter what, it WOULD be all right.

The policeman called me over to the stretcher and I was able to hold Joel's hand as we all ran together to the helicopter. And he held it back! The blades were soooo loud from the helicopter but I needed Joel to know I was there and I yelled, "I love you, Joel, I love you!" I stroked his cheek and he had such a faint smile on his pale face. I felt him squeeze my hand back as I clung to him. What a gift from the Lord that was, besides Joel's life itself, possibly the biggest of all. I still can't tell of it without crying. He held my hand, he heard my last words, he knew I was there! God is good!

I made it all the way up to the door with him and at that point the policeman pulled me back because I wasn't supposed to be under the whirrling blades. It was seconds before they lifted off. I'll never forget the sound, the feel of the rush of the air as I stood on that pasture hillside, watching the helicopter, releasing Joel into our Father's loving arms.

They told me then that they thought it was a collapsed lung, serious, surgery certainly, but not life threatening. My neighbor, MaryAnne, a dear woman who had worked with Joel for years in the E.R. was there at the accident site. She took my face firmly in her hands and said, "He is going to be alright! He is going to be alright!" She was more right than anyone of us knew. The medical news of the collapsed lung was another gift from God. As I left all the children we prayed together and that was the news I left them with. It was more than an hour into Baltimore Shock Trauma and the Lord knew just the "news" I needed to get me there. Perhaps the shock would have been too great for the baby, (she was pregnant), had I known everything right away. Who knows, but I do know that my Lord was gracious to me.

We got to the hospital and found that Joel was having a Catscan done. At this point I had my dear friend, Jill, that had brought me and two close friends of Joel's. Jill was wonderful but having those men there seemed to be the very strength of God himself.

The doctor said Joel had a ruptured aorta. It was an isolated injury. No broken bones, no brain damage, no lung damage. Just the ruptured aorta, but as far as an injury it was the most serious thing he could have had happen. He said 50 percent of the people with this injury make it out alive. It would be very risky. And that was the way God led me through all the evening and through the week. Little baby steps, tenderly, compassionately, ever so gently walking me through. Never giving me more at the moment than I could handle.

50 percent was a lot of hope! We prayed with the doctor, putting Joel in God's loving care, moved to a visitor's area in the cardiology wing of the hospital and began the wait."

And so shall we, until tomorrow! I need to run to work. Let me leave you with a verse Mom included later in her journals...

"With thy counsel Thou wilt guide me, and afterward receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but Thee? And besides Thee, I desire nothing on earth. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. But as for me, the nearness of God is my refuge, That I may tell of all Thy work." Psalm 73:23-26-28

Comments

[Julianna McGreer]

Dan, I said I would put a comment on your web sight. Sorry for the delay. I think it is a wonderful sight.
I am so very encouraged by the story about your dad. Thank you for sharing it. My heart hurts for you and your family but at the same time I am filled with wonder at how God works. Your mom is a strong women. I am sitting hear thanking God that your parents chose Jesus Christ to be their savior instead of something or someone else. At first thought it would not seem like believing in a God and Savior you cant see or touch would make life more bearable but He really does make it so much more better. I don't know how I Could get through the small things I go through with out a savior and how much more difficult it would have been for your family with out the relationship they have with God. Well, thanks again for sharing. I hope it leaves people with the thought of how good He is.

[Sarah]

Thank you,Dan. I appreciate you sharing your story and remind us of God's incredible faithfulness to His children. Please hug your mom for me and let her know how precious she is to share her journal and encourage others. I read this aloud to my husband and we reflected on how good God is are thankful that you see His hand in your lives.

[Jessica Garlick]

Thank you so much for sharing your story. As I sat reading your mother's story, I was amazed by the strength and faith she had. The theme that existed throughout the whole story was that God never gives us more than we can handle at a specific moment. Isn't God amazing! Thank goodness for God's grace in our lives and especially in your family's lives during that trying time. Thanks again for sharing!

[Lore]

I was just counting down the years two days ago, it's been almost six for us. Christmas is one of those holidays that makes us remember afresh: The lack of two central figures in our snowy family photos. Death alters, it has no choice but to alter. But, I think, that alteration is its most redeeming quality. There is no victory in death itself, but there is for those of us left behind. We suddenly value life, and Christ and the gospel and hope and a future, in a way we could never imagine before. There is a clearer picture of redemption and grace and for that I'm grateful. It sounds like your family has experienced that same hope as well.