Imperishable Beauty, part II

Before we continue our discussion about cultivating a genuine appreciation for the inward beauty that God values in women, I want to make a couple clarifications.

First of all, this discussion is in no way an encouragement to love the unlovely. This is not about patronizing girls you don't find attractive. Instead, I want us all to love the truly lovely. And I am not simply using nice terms. God has a far deeper beauty for us to delight in and admire than physical beauty.

Second, this discussion is not only about serving our sisters. This is about our joy as men as well! Agreeing with God about what is lovely and precious will bring lasting joy. We rob ourselves of the delight of seeing things through God's eyes when we settle for less than His standards. We want to see things as they are, not as our natural man had formerly perceived them to be.

And finally, the primary purpose of this discussion is to encourage single men to meaningful and God-glorifying friendships with single women. Certainly God will likely bring us a wife through the means of friendships, but we ought not to pursue friendships with that as our sole or even primary intent. We want to honor our Savior by showing genuine love to all. Romans 12:9-10

Alright, here is some advice that I desire to follow and integrate in my life.

1. Notice True Beauty and thank God for it!

When you are in social circumstances, be aware of those around you who are demonstrating imperishable beauty. Why? Because, my friend, imperishable beauty is not of this world! The natural man does not pursue the desires of the spirit, but the desires of the flesh. (1 Corinthians 2 and Galatians 5:17.) When you see the fruit of the Spirit in a sister's life, remember the cross of Christ! Praise Him that he has freed sinful men and woman from the bondage of sin, and has through His Spirit enabled us to walk with love, peace and gentleness.

Peter says that the tested genuiness of our faith is to result in "praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ." Why? Because it is His work. It is His steadfast love that keeps us for that day. And it is His gracious hand that enables our beloved sisters to display imperishable beauty.

Jesus told His disciples to "let your light shine before others, that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven." Matthew 5:16. So what ought our response be to our sister's good works? Glorify the Father!

Do you see a gentle and kind response to a slanderous remark?  Praise the Savior for the Cross! Do you see a girl who is not a respecter of persons, but seeks to love all around her?  Praise the Savior for the Cross!

And when you see these things, say to yourself, "there, before me, is true beauty. It is true beauty because it is a reflection of Him who is truly beautiful. My Savior, and her Savior."

2. Notice true beauty, and thank her for it!

Let a girl know that you have seen her servant's spirit, and that it has caused you to praise the Lord! I know that we can struggle with the fear that we will be misunderstood in our intentions. It is for this reason that we ought to pursue consistency in this toward's all Godly single woman the Lord places in our lives. Let us spur each other on to love and good works!

3. Speak well of true beauty- I was on a missions trip recently, when a discussion arose about a girl in our church. An 18 year old young man on the team made the comment, "She is such a servant! Every time I see her, she is helping someone out, or looking for ways to serve." Now, I didn't know anything about this young lady. Yet this young man spoke well of her, and even though I still don't know what she may look like, I do know that she is genuinely beautiful. And, this young man demonstrated to me that he valued God's opinion of beauty.

One practical way I can encourage my younger brothers to value true beauty and desire a gentle and quiet spirit in their future wives is to speak well of men who find such woman as their wives. Think of all the times you have heard about some guy who married "a real cute girl," or "a good looking woman." Years and years of hearing that will teach a man to want a wife that everyone will speak of in that way. Now, imagine that all of those conversations were replaced with comments like, "Dave is a blessed man! How happy he must be! His wife is a joyful servant! She radiates with love and care for others!"

Let's get excited about it! Isn't God good to place us in churches where we are surrounded by women who radiate with the love of Jesus.

4. Emulate her example-

Gentleness, joy, servant-hood, love and hospitality are not just feminine qualities. They are fruit of the Spirit, and our Savior demonstrated them perfectly when He walked this earth. When we see women displaying these qualities, we ought to be spurred on to follow their example.

True beauty in woman, defined by 1 Peter 3:3-6, ought to encourage us to pursue true greatness, defined by Christ in Mark 10:43-45 "But it shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."

OK, I've got to split. The roof awaits.

Comments

[Vanessa]

wow, I pretty much fell out of my chair when i read this post.

Guys, blogging about valuing imperishable inner beauty above physical beauty?!?!

holy cannolis.

thank you -

I have a lot more to say, but i'm still in shock :o)

[Tina]

I was thinking the other morning as I was driving to work that I really need more of the type of "serving" and "friendship" you mention here from the guys at church. I think this not because I feel I need more attention or particularly want more reasons to have to guard my heart, but because I need the protection and encouragement that example would provide. I spend all day in a room full of men. I am one of only a few women and, though none of the single men are Christians...they are the ones talking to me, noticing me, taking an interest in my life...even complimenting me on my appearance and serving of the folks at work. Meanwhile, the single men at church barely say hello to me (I guess for fear of giving the wrong impression). While I admit I would have to work at avoiding making any assumptions if there was any consistency or regularity (especially since there is none right now), I believe it would go a long way in protecting me and helping me when I am out in the world, getting regular and consistent attention from ungodly men. Men which, though they are unbelievers ARE kind and thoughtful and even attractive.

[Ashlee]

Thanks for your post! I have posted to send readers to check this out. It is encouraging to me as I try to encourage women to be women, to hear men encouraging men to treat ladies right! Thanks!!

[Jennifer L]

Hmmm...somehow I think this 'guys only' rule has been broken! You've been 'found out'! : )

Thanks again, Dan, for being so frank and honest about this! I think this definitely goes both ways, here!

Merry Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!

[Dan, The Roof Guy]

Wow! I am completely overwhelmed by all of the responses to the posts on physical beauty. Ladies, welcome to Roof Guys! Come often, and stay long! As guys, we need your imput on our discussions!

[Jennifer L]

Never fear! Give me a little time an' I'll have MLC guys chatting here, too! :)

I just gave this site to my little brother - thanks for sharing with them! :)

Oh yeah, MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!!! Wahoo!!! What a wonderful celebration of Who our Saviour is! Good night to all! : )